My biggest accomplishment of 2012

My biggest accomplishment of 2012? I would say living the year to its fullest is my greatest achievement. I tried to do everything this year with my greatest effort, with an open mind and a sound conscience. I'm glad to say that I have no regrets this year, and that's all that really matters. I am so thankful for everything I have, everything I have accomplished, and whenever life got me down, (as Dory would say) I would just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do? We swim! I like to swiiiiimmmm swim swiiiiiiiiim, hah hah hah hah hahhhh...
I like Finding Nemo :)

What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you and how has it impacted me?

My mother. She gave birth to me. It impacted me because I am now alive, so thank you, mother for the gift of life.

Free Write: The act of finishing.

I'm done. I'm just going to check out for the rest of the day. Essay next period? So what? I can afford getting a few points knocked down in AP Lang right now. I have a 104. I'm just done for the week. I'm out.

Overcoming adversity

This blog post is appropriate to my life right now...

Someone integral to my family passed away yesterday afternoon. She was my dad's aunt. My dad's family was poor when they were growing up, and she basically made the effort to pay for him and his four brothers to to college and provided for his family throughout my dad's childhood. She was the most selfless, loving, benevolent person, and I wouldn't even be here without her.

It's a daunting thing, losing someone you love, and facing the fact that it happened is never easy. Yesterday was a crying day. I cried when I found out, I cried when we were praying for her, and I cried myself to sleep so much that my nose was bleeding (or maybe it was just really cold).

I've never experienced a death in the family before, so this was a tough pill to swallow. It made me realize a few things: death happens, and happens quickly, life is short, so we should treat everyone as if you will never see them again, and lastly, never eat fatty pork when you have high blood pressure. My great aunt died after a seizure from a stroke.

The last time I saw her was about five months ago. We were in the Philippines dropping her off to her house late at night, pulling slowly to the dark front lot. Her long walk from the van to the white metal gate was hauntingly ominous to me; an image I'll never forget. At first I thought it was because that was  the last time I'll ever see her that year. Now I realize that it was the last time I'll ever see her alive. I'll never forget everything she did for us, and there will always be a hole in my heart, but I'll make it through. As the saying goes: she's in a better place now.

Something I would devote more time to

I would definitely devote more time to charity work because... I am so lazy! I would actually devote more time to charity work and improving my strengths, as opposed to just vegetating. I really suck sometimes. I didn't do everything I told myself to do this weekend. Plus I only cleaned my bathroom halfway... merp. I'm so annoyed with myself.

What's the best advice you've ever received?

Um, I haven't really received any good advice that I *actually* follow besides the advice I give myself. I mean, it makes sense because I know myself better than anyone else, so that makes me the best judge of...me. That makes sense, right? I tell myself to keep on persevering, because that's the only way I'm going to improve at anything.

This is the advice I need right now because I cannot sing in public. I can't. I froze up in choir this morning and it was so embarrassing. MERP. I kind of need to get over that considering that in choir, you need to, I don't know, SING IN PUBLIC? MERPPPP. -_______-

Costas Controversy

Bob Costas, as a trained journalistic reporter, was wrong to insert his own opinion into a public broadcast. Even though he was "quoting" another columnist, he was slipping in his own two cents by choosing that quote. No matter how "right" he thinks he is, it was unprofessional for Costas to do advocate gun control on air. Besides, if the murderer had a real intention to commit the crime, then he would have found other means to kill than using a gun if he didn't have one.

Free Write: IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

EVERYWHERE YOU GO!

OMG words cannot express how much I love Christmas. It really is the most wonderful time of the year! I love winter so much (just not right after summer when I still want it to be warm); Thanksgiving break, my best friend's birthday, my best friend-iversary, my birthday, Christmas, then New Year! It's a bajillion spectacular things in a few months! Plus, it's the season of giving (and receiving)!

I'VE SERIOUSLY BEEN SINGING CHRISTMAS SONG SINCE TWO DAYS AGO.
I love singing Christmas songs, I love giving people presents (getting presents is probably second to that), I love the atmosphere and the various scents that come with Christmas... It just fills me with warmth :)

Also, we're singing "Carol of the Bells" in choir, but Soprano Two's part is just "dinggggg donnggggg, dinngggg dongggggg" like fifty percent of the time. I want the fast part with the words :(

AND I'M DOING LIKE FOUR SECRET SANTAS - including one Clandestine Comet - and I love giving people gifts soooo muuuch that I don't mind :)

I know it's like three weeks away, but I'M SO EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!!!

How does the death of Hostess affect the nation?

The death of Hostess seems to be a troubling issue for most Americans rights now, but for me, personally, I... don't care. Maybe the nation will be a better, less obese place without Hostess. People won't have a way to hoard Twinkies under their beds or stuff themselves with Ho Ho's or Ding Dong's or whatever other crazy moniker for "diabetes in a package" there is. The nation will mourn, in its own way, and the legacy of Hostess will be nothing but a fading footprint marking American culture. Some years from now, we'll all be going, "Oh remember when we used to pack Twinkies for lunch?" And then we'll all sigh and go, "Oh yeah! Good times..." and go on with the rest of our lives.

Would I drink a potion that would make me live forever at a certain age?

Ummmmmm...
I'm conflicted.
I'm alright with dying, but I can't do aging. I just can't grow old. I CAN'T.
I want to live a long time because I want to do a lot of good in the world, but I would hate to live forever and live through the end of the world and the sun burning out and the second ice age and nuclear wars and stuff... NO JOKE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME IF I LIVED FOREVER AND THE WORLD ENDED? Would I still be alive floating around in space? Would my body disintegrate but my consciousness be scattered around what's left of the universe??? THAT WOULD SUCK, MAN!
Get that potion away from me. I don't want it anymore.

What is the toughest thing about being a reporter?

The toughest thing about being a reporter is getting people to tell you what you need to know in the way that you want to hear it. This is probably one of the main problems a reporter has besides setting up the appointment and making sure the interviewee keeps up his or her end of the bargain. 

Personally, and I'm positive that everyone in Newspaper can relate to this problem, I get very frustrated when the person I am interviewing gives unintelligent, vague or incoherent responses. Needless to say, not everyone is obligated to speak in complete sentences, either. When you are a reporter, you depend on written text to convey your message; this isn't television, so whoever is talking can't convey an emotion through tone. A good reporter looks for something quote-worthy, or"soundbites," as some might call them. The catch is, they have to be organic. You can't just force the words "Work hard, be nice" out of a principal's mouth. It wouldn't be natural to tell someone, "Hey, do you mind answering in complete sentences?" (although I do ask people that sometimes) either. If he or she were forced to answer in complete sentences, then that is probably not how he or she speaks in real life, but it would make the person seem more intelligent. I don't think it's a bad idea to aid someone in seeming more credible, but I think that natural speech conveys more of the person's personality in a story.

It takes a truly skilled reporter to coax a person into revealing information in a natural yet coherent manner. This is a skill I think all reporters must master in order to be the best that they can be.

What's something good about today?

I'm alive. That's good.
Barely, though.
Oh! I finished my essay for English, and it's really good!
Unless I completely didn't answer the prompt. That'd be awful.
It's not a very good day.

Free Write: Asphyxiation

I have been feeling this constricting... something in my chest/abdomen area lately. It's like I'm having a hard time breathing. Like I'm suffocating or something.
This would be a really good metaphor for my life, actually. If we were annotating for symbolism in a book about my life, then this would symbolize how I'm stressed about life and life makes me sad OMG.
I think I need to see a doctor for this.

Thoughts about the election

I am independent, bi-partisan or whatever you want to call it, but I just happen to be for Obama this year. I am satisfied, yet strangely apprehensive, about his reelection. 

What I like about Obama: equal marriage, energy plan, education plans, cutting taxes for middle class (I don't think the rich need more money), sending back the troops. 

What I'm iffy about: the economy (I...hope he doesn't screw up), abortion (kind of meh), foreign policy (LIBYA, NORTH KOREA?)

So, anyway, there are my thoughts. I have nothing more to say in my dazed stupor.

If I could change anything about the media, what would it be?

If I were able to change anything about the media, it would be the amount of bias that clouds all of the facts that the people actually need to know. If it were up to me, I would make it illegal to report falsehoods about news and people and political figures alike. This way, there would be less room for persuasion and more room for information. Society needs to know the truth about events and things that affect their lives.

Do we make the moments in our lives or do the moments make us?

I think that we definitely make our own moments in life. There are certain moments or experiences that are handed to us, and it us up to us to make those into something else. You could easily take a happy moment where you're frolicking in a field of flowers and make it depressing by making a big deal about getting bitten by a bug. Also you could turn a sad moment like getting bitten by a bug and make it happy by naming it Jimmy and setting it on a small leaf where it can roam free. Moments don't define us, we define them.

Free Write: Meh

OK, today is such a weird day. This morning I was depressed, and all these horrible bad things happened to me. So in second period, I cried. And then second period was fun because I had choir. And then I was happy again.
We were talking about noses in choir. I was complaining about my lack of a nose bridge. These other cute girls had these adorable noses, and that made me feel even worse about the whole nose bridge thing.
Sometimes, being Filipino sucks.

What's one life lesson you've learned so far in high school?

People change, and you don't have to. A lot of people who I have been really close with in middle school have changed so much, and even though that bothers me, I had the option to cut them out of my life. Of course I still have the memories we'd shared, but that is no reason to stay in harmful friendships. In high school, people come into your life, and then they walk back out. That's how it is. If that's the case, then it's high time to find some people who deserve you.
If you are lucky enough, you can find some really, really awesome people who never change or evolve and grow with you. If you do, you should stick with these kids. They're PRETTY darn awesome, and they make life five hundred times more fun. I'd love to share my besties and spread joy to the world, buuuuuut I don't want to. :)

If I could be good at one thing what would it be?

If I could be good at anything, I honestly don't know what I'd be good at. Everything I think of contradicts something else. I'm waiting for a genius idea to come to me. If it ever does, I'll edit this blog.

Write an encouraging letter to someone (PART DOS)

We've already done this blog, and I can't think of anything, so here.

Dear John,

I see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home. 

(When I read it, I sing the words in my head. Does this happen to everyone? I was tempted to elongate "gone" and "home" with multiple o's.)

Love, The Girl in the Dress

P.S. You should have known.

If I could have two celebrity parents, who would they be?

I can't say Ryan Gosling, because that would be creepy, and I can't say Angelina Jolie, because, well, I'D HATE HER FOR BEING SO GORGEOUS.
Instead of thinking of celebrities I would like to marry or be, let me think of two people that would make exceptional parental guardians with whom I can trust my life.
...got it.
Oprah and Gandhi.
BAM. DREAM FAMILY.
OMG that would be the best thing that has ever happened to anyone ever - Oprah and Gandhi? In a lifelong union? If that ever happened, it would be like witnessing a baby giraffe being born and opening its eyes for the first time.
It would be spectacular.
Not that they would make a very cute couple (let's get real here), but think about what kind of knowledge they would impart to me! They would read me Henry David Thoreau to bed and sing Mongolian monk chants to me at night and loop mystical healing whale noises as I slowly drift into REM sleep.
I'm pretty sure I'd learn the meaning of life by age 3.
I would reach some sort of higher meaning in my mid-teens and levitate wherever I go in my late twenties. And then I'll read minds. And then I'll master telekinesis. And then I'll be the Chuck Norris of the metaphysical world.
IT'LL BE SO FREAKING SWEET..

Plus, I'll be like, half black and half brown (dark brown?) - who DOESN'T want that?

Do dreams mean anything?

As we learned in AP Psychology, dreams consist of random junk that settle into your subconscious mind, and they can determine your deepest dreams and hidden desires.
A lot of research has gone into the dream state, and it's really fascinating to know that even when our physical bodies are asleep, our mind is always awake.
I've always been intrigued with lucid dreaming, a state of dreaming where you can control your actions and surroundings. Pretty neat, huh? They say that when you master the art of lucid dreaming, you can solve real-life problems. I'm working on it; it sounds pretty awesome!

How does the media handle election coverage?

Depending where you look for your news, election coverage is pretty biased in the general media. If you are a huge Romney advocate, then Fox News will give you what you want to hear. If you are rooting for Obama, then head on over to MSNBC. These news channels are just two of many that report the same news with skewed views. This election, if you tune into any form of media, then you will likely hear more opinion than fact. This is the sad truth of modern news reporting, and one really needs to look for a fair, bi- or non-partisan news source. With news so biased these days, it is hard to get a grip on the truth. This election, it is important that we pay attention to facts and not be swayed by other people's perspectives, because they may just be distorting the truth to gain favor on their side.

I think I have a throat infection

I think I have a throat infection. I feel a little off, and my throat has been feeling kind of scratchy lately. Choir was bleh, because I couldn't sing, and even though I've been getting at least 7 hours of sleep lately, I'm feeling kind of sick.
I hope not. I can't be absent. Like ever.

OMG so last period in choir, I was sitting by my best friend, and some girl actually came up to us and asked us if we were twins. I said yes, and she was totes confuzzled. Heehee :) It was awesome.

Do photographs ever lie?

I don't think photos ever lie; photographs capture a genuine moment, whether it's posed or candid. Interpretations of the photograph, however, can differ. Pictures can be just like art in that way, because both can be construed differently depending on the person.
Photos can also tell a story about the photographer, because we see how he or she sees the world. Not to mention that we can tell if the photographer is talented or not.
In the end, photographs don't lie, but then again, truth is an inconsistent idea.

My perfect day

My perfect day would require Jesus to come down from heaven and have ice cream with me and unicorns to exist.

Perfect days just do not happen.

I'm going to reconstruct this prompt and describe my perfect school day within the boundaries of reality.

If such a day ever occurred, it would be a perfectly sunny day under 75 degrees, and I would not be wearing a dress. For some reason, my best days don't happen when I'm wearing a dress (although I'm wearing a romper today - which is a marriage between a dress and shorts - so far, it's pretty OK). Also, all my teachers will compliment me for my academic excellence (it's a stretch) and give me that little "1" I always get in Newspaper on Home Access.

What else...

An A on my APUSH test would be nice. Actually, an A in APUSH would be nice.
Also I would have a 100 in AP Lang. A 93?? REALLY?!

My standards for a good day are based on my frustrations concerning my grades right now. WHY DO I HAVE THREE B'S? SCHOOL SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD.

I don't want to go to Quad C -___________-

Why can't we just get along?

That's what I'm saying!
I don't see why we can't all just get along. I mean, we're all made out of the same stuff. If you took out money, clothes and religion out of the situation, then we're basically all the same people.
That is, if you count out the fact that we all have different opinions and beliefs.
The thing is, it's unrealistic to think that we would all be the same, but I think that if we all accepted each other's beliefs, we would all get along swimmingly.

What quality do I value most in friendship?

The quality I value most in friendship is reliability. I love having someone (or two someones) to rely on when I need anything, and I love having someone to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. I don't know what else to say about that. I mean, who likes being alone? There's nothing wrong with that, but I would rather cry and have someone listen to me and care than cry and have snot running down my nose all by myself. That's all.

Free Write: What am I doing with my life?

Someone please tell me what to do. Please tell me what to do. Please. Help. Me.

Here's a rundown of my school schedule. I am taking four AP classes: AP Lang, APUSH, AP Psych and APES. I get no sleep. I have no life. My friends are worrying about me. I am cranky, and I yell at my dad for singing "Gangnam Style." My eye twitches randomly. It's very annoying. 

WHYYYYY.

Then people tell me to drop one class so that I can have a life, but I don't want to! My parents are making me drop APUSH, but I really don't want to be in a class where I'm, I don't know, intellectually stagnant?! BLEEEHHHH.

I want to start a flashmob where everyone starts dancing to "Gangnam Style." Someone please do it with me. Please.  Please?! That would make my life! Teehee. 

K bye. 

If I could create a reality TV show, what would it be about?

My reality show would be about finding the true meaning of happiness.

I was watching Ellen (like I do), and she talked about this documentary called "Happy". The director was on her show, and he shared a beautiful story of how a bike accident completely changed the way he looked at life. The man was a fairly successful director, but even with all his material wealth, he was never really happy. After the bike accident, I guess he kind of stopped and thought, "If I didn't manage to survive that accident, I can't bear the thought that the life I leave behind was full of empty, material fulfillment." So with that, he moved out of his mansion, sold or gave away all of his belongings (I think he kept the bike) and moved into a small shack next to the ocean. Surprisingly, it was there that he found true happiness.

The movie was really eye-opening, seeing different cultures and their perception of true fulfillment. Many of these people owned nothing but a small dwelling and the clothes on their backs. I remember one of those men was a rickshaw driver (it's a mode of transportation where a man pulls people on this cart-type vehicle), and he said that he was the happiest man on earth because he knows his son who loves him is waiting at home.

I love things that are a real and run deeper than artificiality. I think it would be very beneficial to a country like America to witness people who have less than they, but have the upper hand on something else that is harder to find.

What is my most trusted news source?

Since I don't really trust any news sources (for the same reasons as Kaitlin), per se, I would have to say that Wingspan is my most trusted news source! I know the staff, and I trust everyone enough to think that they know that they're information is credible. Also, Ms. Merrill looks over the paper to make sure that everything is right. If that isn't enough, Dr. Burdett takes a look at the paper as well, so I know that nothing inaccurate will be published to the entire student body.

Unlike widely broadcasted news, the Wingspan staff has the integrity and honesty to write wholly unbiased articles (when we don't, we are made to), and I appreciate any such genuine works. For this reason, I read the school newspaper, digest it and am not compelled to check a second source for the information. Thank you, Wingspan for keeping the outdated practice of truth telling alive.

What's my favorite thing about Texas?

The cute cows.

Besides that, ummm nothing much.

I don't really mean to offend anyone, but I HATE how closed-minded most of the people I've met here are. They are so indifferent about everything ever that I have blogged about ever, and I've only met 3 people who have expressed similar views.

I mean, in my AP Psychology class, we were talking about organic apples for some reason, and this half-wit kid speaks up and goes, "Ummm, if it's a fruit, and it comes from the ground, then how can it be not organic?"

And the entire class - INCLUDING THE TEACHER - stayed silent in agreement with his question.

-___________________________________________________-

"FIRST OF ALL, APPLES GROW ON TREES, THEY DON'T SPRING UP FROM THE GROUND LIKE MAGICAL GOPHERS," I wanted to yell, "SECONDLY, INORGANIC FOODS ARE GENETICALLY MODIFIED BY BIG COMPANIES THAT USE PESTICIDES AND CHEMICAL FERTILIZERS TO CORRUPT OUR FOODS AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO PAY FOR WHAT LOOKS LIKE AN APPLE, BUT IS ACTUALLY CRAP. YOU ARE EATING CRAP. ORGANIC FOODS ARE GROWN BY HUMBLE SMALL FARMERS WHO GAIN THEIR LIVELIHOOD HONESTLY BECAUSE THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN FEEDING PEOPLE TOXIC SUBSTANCES. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE BEING OPPRESSED BY THE AFOREMENTIONED BIG COMPANIES - THEY WANT PEOPLE EATING CRAP. BUT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE FREAKING SUBURBS OF FREAKING TEXAS AND NO ONE KNOWS ANYTHING! EAFDJSLHJGRHRLIYTRELRGEFDRES!!!!!!!!"

For fear of seeming like a maniacal freak, I chose to keep the truth to myself and sit fume in silence for the next hour and a half.

And this is why I am moving to Sweden in two years.

If I could make a music video to any song, what would it be and why?

I would make a music video for the song... I don't know,  "We Are Never Getting Back Together"? It's the song stuck in my head right now and I can't think of anything else. I am so lame! I don't even listen to music anymore because I'm so busy! AGGGHHHH...
ANYWAY. I'd make an awesome video for that song with my two best friends, and we would change into different costumes unnecessarily for the fun of it.
I enjoy unnecessary costume changes.

What am I most passionate about?

If you need to know one thing about me, here it is: When I'm passionate about something, I will go to the ends of the the earth to get my message across.
I am absolutely, clinically insane, about nature, environmental issues and the like.
I will (enunciates slowly and clearly) LITERALLY HATE YOU FOREVER if you say something along the lines of, "nature isn't important" in front of me.
If you do anything to blatantly hurt the environment, I will think of every single bad thing in the world and use my willpower to wish them upon you for the rest of your life. I will draw pictures of you getting run over by a train, being abducted by aliens and being thrown off a high cliff by aforementioned aliens. YOU WILL BE ON MY BLACK LIST.

Of course, my morals tell me I can't act on those thoughts, but everything has a loophole.

These conditions apply to no one in particular so far (besides those fleeting moments when people don't recycle just to annoy me in class), but my hate does burn eternally for one group.

BP.

The name just makes me want to scream and do bad things. GRRRRRR!

...

I don't really want to go into a long soliloquy on why BP should die in a hole with many, many parasitical leeches and demon clowns. Strangely, I'm not feeling very hateful right now.

To contradict my morbid self... Have a good Friday! :)

Calling or Texting

I prefer calling when I need to say something important because with texting, you leave out things like tone and delivery. When you text, you just send words that can be interpreted in different ways. Of course nothing beats talking to people face to face, but phone conversations are the next best thing. When you're on the phone with someone, you can hear their reactions, and you can pick up the tone in his or her voice. I just find phone conversations to be more personal.

FREE WRITE: Junior Year

This year is... In a nutshell? Hectic. It's like, this is my mind, and when I walked into my first period, it went KABOOM. I'M A JUNIOR. AP CLASSES. STRESS. AGGGHHHH. I'm literally scared out of my wits.

What do you think of when you hear the word media?

When I hear the word media, a flurry of images comes to mind. Television, the Internet, newspapers and phones are some sources to keep one updated on the rest of the world. When I think of media, it occurs to me that people might not think of it the same way in simpler times than they do now. Throughout the years, different mediums of news and entertainment have evolved and become more abundant. Back in the day, the only media people were able to access were either oral or written in the local press. Nowadays, we have constant reminders that media is an inescapable world that infiltrates society in every aspect possible - be it smart phones, Twitter or the news, media is a force that cannot be ignored.

Last Week of School...

Yay, I guess. I mean, it definitely feels just like another awkward week of school, so I'm not all that excited. Plus, it's raining! Really?! I didn't want to wear pants this week (by that I mean I'm wearing dresses), but nope, it's raining. 

Whatever I'm still wearing a dress.

Other than that, my summer is going to be less awesome than I thought it would be because neither of my best friends can hang out most of June... One of them is going to be in Italy while the other is grounded for the dumbest reason ever. I guess I'm going to have to find other people to be awesome with, then... Merp. 

I LOVE SUMMER!

This whole "raining" thing needs to stop. 

How important is ambition in life?

I just came up with a new mantra last night for some reason...
Believe in yourself; Let passion be your drive and faith be your guide.
I think this is totally applicable to ambition because when you are ambitious, you have to have a drive and a reason to keep going. I don't really know what else to say because I'm not that ambitious at all. I wish I was, though!

What is the most important aspect of friendship?

Kindness, humor and honesty are all important parts of a friendship, but to me, you can't have a friendship without loyalty. Why loyalty? Because that's how you know he or she is going to be there for you forever! I am blessed enough to have the most loyal best friends on earth, so I can't possibly ask for anything more than that. :)

CONFIRMATION!!!

So there's this thing where you're Catholic, and you get confirmed, which is basically an elaborate ceremony in which you confirm that you're actually Catholic. IT'S SO FLIPPING AWESOME AND IT'S ON SATURDAY AND I'M SO EXCITED YAYYYYY. 

It is SUCH a RELIEF to have something good happen in my life right now considering I've had the most stressful week ever because of exams and whatnot. YEAH!

Is the media too intrusive in people's lives?

I believe that the media has crossed the boundary of decency countless times. This applies especially to paparazzi, who seem not to mind intruding into the lives of celebrities. I think that there is a point where the media is too intrusive because most of the time, the footage or quotes a photographer or journalist gets from a person can be taken out of context. Even though public figures do technically sign on for this type of exposure, it is to no one's benefit when someone's life is ruined by the press. I do not think it is ethical for the media to do this because they break into people's private lives, and that isn't right. Even though we as the public feel the need to know everything going on in our favorite celebrities' lives, I feel that celebrities should have more privacy rights. This is especially true for celebrities with families so that their children do not have to deal with the press pestering them and negatively affecting their childhood. So yes, the media is too intrusive, but as long as the never ending demand for celebrity exposure exists, this is not going to change for a very long time.

How I deal with setbacks

Periodically, I have these "reevaluating my life" sessions in which I take a look at my progress in these sixteen years of existence. This is good because my life/thoughts/sanity are rarely in balance for more than a couple of weeks... so these sessions help me reorganize my entire life. I'm not going to explain my thought processes during this time because it's hard to explain, but... Bleh.

Bianca's Limerick - Note: Sarcasm Used.

There once was a girl named Bianca
Who's crazy just like Willy Wonka
She said with a sigh,
"I just want to cry."
And at that she left for Sri Lanka

What is the purpose of space exploration?

Absolutely nothing. The whole "space race" thing is getting really out of hand and it is extremely unnecessary. The US is spending billions of dollars to get people into space just for bragging rights. I really don't understand why the government or whomever is running this charade thinks it necessary to send people to space. OK, so we're the number one country in space exploration, hoorah, we still have thousands of jobless/homeless/starving/sick/old people roaming around. But who cares when we can say we sent fruit flies into outer space, right?

The greatest advantage of cellphones

In my opinion, technology is moving at a pace WAAYYYY too fast for me to handle. It's really annoying, actually, to wake up one morning and hear an announcement that a new version of your (insert technological device here) comes out in a few months. Just when you think you're a tech-savvy hip person, corporate conglomerates flash a new reason to waste your money in front of your face. I digress. The most important use of cellphones today is to communicate, at least, according to my lifestyle. Also, taking pictures is probably my second most frequent use for my phone. Documenting memories is important and so is texting. Seriously though. Some people need to CHILL THE CRAP OUT about technology. I don't see why people let media suck time and energy out of their livesssssss! Geeeeezzzz.

Free Write: TAKS is over!!!

TAKS might be over, but my week of stressful events isn't. AP Mock Exam Saturday...whoo. No joke I'm gonna stare at that test and start crying in fetal position. This really smart girl I know thinks she failed and only finished one out of three essays. SO EXCITED. -_-

Why does slang lingo become so popular?

Let's go back to the root of every slang word ever... The start of every slang term comes from a few possibilities: 1.) A variation (in meaning and/or spelling) of an already existing word to better suit people's lifestyles. Example: "Swag" comes from the word "swagger" which means to walk or strut with a defiant or insolent air. 2.) A word or phrase invented in type of media like music or movies. Example: The saying "YOLO" (an acronym for "you only live once") was made popular by the song "The Motto" by Drake. 3.) People are too lazy to say words properly. Example: "Wanna" = "want to" and "gonna" = "going to" 4.) Abbreviations of phrases. We can thank texting for this. Example: "LOL", "OMG", "TTYL" and so on. I think that whole list might have answered the question, but... wait, yes, yes it DOES answer the question! It's really annoying though when the slang word of the moment is overused to the point that it gets extremely dumb and the expression loses its meaning.

My goal for today

My goal for today??? MY GOAL FOR TODAY?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?? MY GOAL IS TO SURVIVE THE DAY!!!!
IIIIII AAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM SSSOOOOOOOO STREEEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEDDDDDDDD OOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTT
That is all.

Me + Tests = The Opposite of Joy.

THREE TAKS TESTS, A MOCK AP EXAM, A HISTORY FIELD TEST AND THE ACTUAL AP WORLD HISTORY TEST.
NOT EXCITED.
I'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown right now and over the next two weeks, I am going to flip the POOPDECK out!!!
WOOOOOWWWW I'M STRESSED OUT!!!
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!! MY WHOLE LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS -_________________-
I think I'll just flip burgers for the rest of my life.
I HATE HUGE TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My personal flag

If I had my own personal flag, I would include the coors pink and turquoise. I would also somehow manage to incorporate a unicorn in my flag. It would symbolize prettiness and magical creatures.
I guess... that's it. :-/

An encouraging note to someone

Instead of writing a message for one specific person, I'm going to write a letter to the whole world. :)

Dear World,
Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, because everyone has a voice that deserves to be heard. Who cares what other people think??? Go stand on top of a tall building and yell out whatever your heart desires! Go right now! Chances are, someone is going to care, so go and take a chance. :)

I have no idea what I just said, but hey - that was what my heart desired.
I mean well.

What news organization covered the weather the best?

With location as a major factor, I would have to say that the NBCDFW News on channel 5 covered Tuesday's tornado drama the best. When checking for weather updates, local news channels are the most accurate sources of information because they have correspondents all over the county. Based on my own TV schedule, I can safely say that the channel 5 news efficiently covered the tornados and constantly brought in breaking updates and good footage as soon as they happened. This was especially attention-grabbing because not only did they have reporters in proximity of the disaster sights, but they also broadcasted non-stop, even managing to fill up the entire hour time slot of the Ellen DeGeneres show. To the NBCDFW news organization, good, uplifting entertainment is insignificant compared to county-wide cognizance of the weather. Thank you.

If I could give myself an award for anything, what would it be?

You know how they have those "de-motivational" posters? I'm going to give myself a de-motivational award.
The Dumbest Person of the Six Weeks Award goes to... me.
I suck this six weeks. I HATE EVERYTHING!!!
AGGGHHHHH THIS IS SO VERY FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really hate this six weeks, I have B'S THAT I GOT FOR THE STUPIDEST REASONS EVER, which I am FURIOUS about, and POOP!!! JUST. POOP.
I hate life.

Two words: Hunger. Games.

I was sooooo ecstatic to see one of my favorite novels come alive last Saturday, and the experience did not disappoint. The film achieved the perfect balance of love and bloodlust within the main characters, and that gave the movie a deeper level of psychological interest.
Well, I thought it did.
Most importantly, the most gratifying factor of those two hours and twenty-two minutes was that the actor playing Peeta Mellark is the most attractive man on planet Earth.
I'm going to marry Josh Hutcherson.
I have a two-year plan. You'll see.

Something I did that made me proud of myself

I honestly feel like I've been doing things that have made me the opposite of proud lately, and this topic just makes me depressed.
So the answer to that question? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I feel stupid.
Hopefully, I ace my AP World test next period and I'll feel somewhat accomplished.

What someone did to make me happy

This is a weird question... I'm at school. No one here makes me happy.
Just kidding.
Well, not really because there are a lot of annoying people here...
Basically, I make myself happy.

A book about my life

If I had to write a book about my life, I would call it something like "Bianca- The Girl Who Saves Baby Pandas". Pretty self-explanatory, right? If I ever wrote a book about my life, it would be the most random piece of literature anyone will have ever beheld. Every other word would be "HAHAHAHA LOL" and half of the book will probably go in depth on every inside joke I'm involved in ever. I'm probably the only person who would find this book funny and/or interesting.
I think I've found a better title for this book.
"Bianca's Diary".

Spring Break

If I could go anywhere this break, I would be in the Philippines visiting family. Also I would bring my besties with me and we shall stroll in every mall.
Something else, I really dislike how no retailers were willing to help me on my fashion story. They are all mean.

Throughout history, who has had the greatest impact on our country?

This is a tough question, because there have been so many extraordinary people throughout history that have imparted their groundbreaking goals, missions and dreams to this great, great country. Weird. I felt a bitter taste on my tongue after that. Patriotism is so not me. Anyway, I think that George Washington has had the largest effect on America because, as we all know, he was the first president, and he pieced back together the vestiges of America after the Revolution. Without him, America wouldn't be what it is today - the most amazing God-given country that has ever thrived on this wonderful earth. Note that this title is not only innacurate, but self-proclaimed. America bleh.

How will the controversies between North and South Korea affect the US?

The tension between the two Koreas are frightening because although they are not skirmishing at the moment, they are technically still warring, and something bad could happen at the right opportunity. This affects the US because we are allies with South Korea, and if any sort of war breaks out spontaneously, we could very well be dragged into the situation. According to CNN, the US troops at the DMZ have been working with the South Korean militia on defensive tactics in case anything does happen. Apparently, Kim Jong Un found this offensive, so now the tensions are steeper than ever. The American government is under enough trouble, isn't it? If we get into a war we don't really need to be involved in, even if we are allied with South Korea, it will be a strain on the economy as the government would have to fund military operations,and it might even be detrimental to the American people if the fighiting comes this way.

The importance of effective communication skills

Communication is not just all about talking, and good communicators know this, but about listening. Active listening is an important skill to learn to be able to communicate effectively. With these skills, life should be easier and people will respond positively to your great listening skills.

Birthday adventures

The past sixteen birthdays of my life have been very unusual to say the least. In the early stages of my life, my mother devoted her life to making every one of my birthdays "unique." One year, my mom decided to invite all the orphans in our neighborhood to my party. We played musical chairs. It was pretty sweet. Another time, my mom threw me a "Pink and Purple" party. Half the guests wore green. And who can forget the year my mom told me she didn't have time to throw a party? I had a sneaky plan, and I wrote myself a Happy Birthday card woefully expressing my melancholy of having no party that year... Boo hoo. I put the card in plain sight next to my bed with an ulterior motive in mind. I woke up that morning to a pile of gifts and to my mom telling me that she read my card of depression and threw me a mini party! Yay for deception! It's all about the presents, really. Presents are everything.

Thoughts on the US government... This should be interesting.

I. Absolutely. Distrust. The. Government.
I irrevocably, undeniably, superlatively do not, and will never, put my all of my faith in the hands of the government, and never will I ever become a politician or become entangled in the world of politics.
If you're going to tell me, "Oh, you're such a horrible, unpatriotic person! The government provides us with this and that, and freedom and all this other amazing stuff!" then you might as well stop reading now.
I do not disagree that the government provides a lot of good things for people, but what kills me is that they are so disturbingly aware that the secrets they keep from people are slowly killing them. First off, the FDA is a load of BLEEP. They approve half the foods we eat because they are profitable, even when they're not necessarily safe to eat. For example, has anyone ever wondered what is in burger meat, or any kind of beef, for that matter? A lot of the beef we eat is "cured" meat, meaning that the animal the beef came from had a virus or disease that needed to be treated with a plethora of shots, vaccinations and other unpronounceable antibiotics. That is in our food. In every fast food chain in the country ever. Not to mention that "chicken" nuggets are actually discarded chicken parts and bones and such grounded up and treated with ammonia and other chemicals to make it edible!
Does the government even know about this? HECK YEAH, THEY DO. AND THEY DON'T CARE.
The government doesn't run us, big corporations like Coca Cola and McDonalds do! It's all about money!
And don't even get me started on corruption.
I won't. I sound too much like a hippie already. I WON'T GIVE IN TO THE MAN!

Me and my dang AP courses

I decided it would be a fantastic idea to take four AP classes next year, plus I think two PAP classes. Junior year will probably be the most back-breaking, heart-stopping, stress-inducing year of my life. I'm pretty freaking scared.

My biggest fear

I have a fear of growing old. Even now, as I'm thinking about it, it makes me very, very upset. I have no problem knowing I'm going to die one day. I know there's a place for me after I die. But just the concept of aging and becoming old... It seems like a such slow, lonely process. Freaks me out, quite frankly. I actually spazzed out on my sixteenth birthday back in November. Call me a freak, but I figured: hey, fourteen, I got time; fifteen, I can sing that Taylor Swift song now! Sixteen? HOLY CRAP I'M FRIGGIN ANCIENT PUT ME IN A CRYOGENIC FREEZER NOW, DANGIT!
I still feel that way.
Just wait 'til my mid-life crisis.

How should Texas regulate texting and driving laws?

I think that texting might be one of the biggest distractions for drivers today. On the road, I see a lot of people with a phone on one hand and the steering wheel in the other. If, like most people, you plan on not crashing into trees, then I suggest that texting while driving is not a good idea. Some of these people even have children in the backseat! That is not OK! Texas should enforce a strict law that bans using cellphones while driving. Cameras should be at every stoplight, and these should capture the plate numbers of drivers that are on their phones. Citizens should also be encouraged to report any cases of texting while driving to police. The punishment should be a hefty fine for those who text on the road and endanger those around them.

What are the benefits of advertising during the Super Bowl? What are potential drawbacks?

First of all, it seems to me like the Super Bowl is treated like a national holiday around here. Considering that, it is probably safe to assume that millions of people gather around the television to watch the Super Bowl every year. Ding ding ding, prime time for brainwashing- er, advertising. Advertisers and big companies likely spend millions of dollars to give their product some airtime during Super Bowl season. The benefits, for those corporations, are that they earn a ton of money from consumers exposed to their commercial. I think that even people who aren't fans of the game will enjoy this aspect, and that way it benefits the NFL also because they get more eager viewers and maybe some potential football fans. The benefit for football fanatics is entertainment watching the commercials. The first drawback I can think of is maybe offending someone in an advertisement. After all, it won't be hard to find someone watching the game with an opposing opinion. Another drawback for the company would be the cost of the advertisement. Those millions of dollars could have gone to saving the rainforest, just saying.

One thing I'm trying to improve in my life

I'm trying to improve my productiveness. My whole life, I've been nothing but an unorganized lump of mediocrity. I've never strived to be anything above and beyond than what I was capable of. BIG MISTAKE.
I've always depended on my quote smartness unquote to scrape by life. Yeah, didn't work out too well for me. I've DEFINITELY done better this year, and it shows because my GPA and class rank have gone up significantly. So, yeah, I'm pretty much going to keep not being a slacker and things will be OK.

One word says it all.

Merp.
Merp merp merp.
Merp is my new favorite word. It is the perfect expression, awkward silence filler and sentence enhancer.

Let me demonstrate...

Merp as an expression
Bob: I just found a five hundred dollar bill on the ground!
Bill: (sarcasm) WELL ISN'T THAT JUST FLIPPIN' MERPTASTIC.
Bob: ...merp you.

Merp as an awkward silence filler
Jack: ...
Grandpa Joe: ...
Jack: 0_____0
Grandpa Joe: .........MERP.
Jack: .___.

Merp as a sentence enhancer
George: THAT WAS THE BEST MERPING TOUCHDOWN I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
Wendy: What the merp are you talking about, George?
George: THE GAME, WENDY! THE. MERPING. GAME.
Wendy: Well do the merping dishes for once. You can watch your merping game from the gosh merping kitchen.
George: ...
Merp that, I'm going to bed.


With the right techniques, the word merp can express anything your heart desires. Soon enough, you will be spitting out your own merp-isms faster than you can say "salsa verde."
NOW RUN FREE AND MERP YOUR LITTLE HEART OUT. MERP ON... MERP ON...

Why people have superstitions

In ancient times, people used natural and supernatural forces to explain common occurrences easily explained by modern science. I read somewhere that breaking a mirror is considered unlucky because people used to believe that mirrors kept part of your soul in them. There is another one that says walking under a ladder is unlucky, this comes from the belief that triangles are supposed to have some sort of significant, mystical meaning (I don't remember what), and a ladder against a wall creates a triangle shape. People were very in touch with their mystical side back then because technology didn't exist, and people only had their minds to entertain themselves with.

What do I want to see happen before the day ends?

The apocalypse. Just kidding.
I would like to see myself strive for success today, and I would like to see a pile of finished homework on my desk before 6:30. After that, I want to see the inside of my eyelids, because that means I'm asleep.

Rainy day memories...

The delicate trickle of rain turned into a downpour in a matter of minutes.
"God is crying," I thought to myself, "because people are mean..."
In the Philippines, rain can last for days, even weeks. The seasonal monsoon came every summer, so when the rest of the world is building sand castles, I was stuck inside.
Lying upside down on the table didn't help my boredom. Though it did help me learn that a rush of blood to the head does not make your brain explode...
I was an eight-year-old only child. Loneliness came easily to my kind of people.
My aunt called me up on the telephone just then. She was beckoning me to come outside.
"Umm... I'll get wet?" I said confusedly.
She advised me to cease my weenie-ness, and so I came outside.
I found my aunt underneath an umbrella watching my cousins splash around in the rain like a couple of cuties. They motioned for me with their hand, and I ran to them excitedly with the spark of childhood innocence in my eyes.
I miss that spark... -_-
It was the best time! We hopped in puddles and got soaked in the rain... Like awesome peas in a pod :)
I LOVE THE RAIN! But only when no one judges me for running outside with my mouth open and my face to the sky. You know, like a G.

How can one small act today have a big impact on the future?

In the timeless words of Rachel Scott, one small action creates a chain reaction. Every person is connected to everyone else in some way, and it is important to treat others as you would yourself. The way you act today can impact how life will treat you in the future, because the good things in life almost always come to good people.

SOPA and PIPA thoughts and how they will impact me

Although I do not believe that PIPA and SOPA will be enforced due to the overwhelming amount of backlash it's received, it is a little disconcerting to realize that the government planned to censor the Internet at all. The issue makes it seem like people's rights mean nothing to them. If the government ever decide to carry out these acts in any way, they would risk infringing on our freedom of speech and freedom of the press rights. Luckily, many major sites, like Google and Wikipedia, have been speaking against PIPA and SOPA and protecting out rights, and I think it's working! From what I've heard, the decision was postponed. If the Internet were censored, that means no Wikipedia or similar idea-sharing websites. From what I assume, I would have to BUY everything - movies, music, pictures - basically everything you can find on YouTube and Google Images. This would make my life and researching 5000 TIMES HARDER than it needs to be. LIFE WOULD BE UNBEARABLE FOR EVERY STUDENT IN THE WORLD. I voted to stop the movement the other day when I found out about it, and there are probably millions of other people who have done the same. The whole world shouldn't be punished by what only a fraction of the population is doing.

The best piece of advice I've ever received

I was feeling down one day after receiving a less-than-stellar Geometry grade, and I was wallowing in self-pity.

"WHY AM I SO BAD AT LIFE???" I yelled to no one in particular.

Out of nowhere, a girl told me, "Because you've never lived it before."

WHOA. Mind-blowing.

That phrase made realize how hard we all try to be perfect at everything, when the fact is, it's impossible. We can't expect to be the greatest person who has ever lived, because we only get one chance at living.

Unless of course, you believe in reincarnation, then this is all pointless...

The fact is, life is a learning experience. And hey, you lose, you learn.

If only I'd learn something in Geometry -___________________-

The Truth About Mirrors.

Have you ever noticed the way you look in mirrors is different from the way you look in real life?

This is what I have to say about that:
-__________________- ...WHAT THE HECK.

This realization, especially for ladies, can be EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING!
Mirrors. Are. Deceiving.
All this time I've been trying to look pretty and get my hair parting right has been a LIE. Sure, you look into the mirror and think, "Today, I'm going to keep my hair to the right side and have my left ear exposed" while when in fact, people are going to see you with your hair to the LEFT and your RIGHT ear exposed. HOW MADDENING IS THAT?
Just kidding. It's not that big of a deal.

.....UNLESS.

What if behind every mirror was some sort of parallel dimension where your reflection is actually an alien mimicking your face and surroundings? That's why you get seven years bad luck if you break a mirror, because you kill aliens! THAT WOULD BE SO CRAY CRAY.

Either way, I hate mirrors.

What is the biggest problem in society?

I think that the biggest problem in society today is wastefulness. I feel that people, especially in this country, have problems conserving resources and exploiting too much of everything. You can even tell that we're wasteful just by looking at the massive size of the landfills we take up. A lot of that is food and materials that can be reused. It's called a recycle bin! I don't mean that you should recycle food, because that would be weird... I'm just saying that if people ate all the food on their plate (African children, anyone?) and recycled, then we would have a lot less trash. AND STUPID PEOPLE SHOULD STOP CUTTING DOWN TREES WITHOUT PLANTING NEW ONES!!! GEEEEEEZZZZZZZ THAT MAKES ME MAD -____-

Is there bias in the media?

Of course there is! Political campaigns, anyone? Or even those vacuum cleaner commercials... I hate it when people (or vacuum cleaners) on TV make other people or products look bad just to get ahead. It really says something when someone make put down other people just to make themselves look better! That makes them weenies. I think those people just say to themselves, "I can't think of one good thing about myself, so I'll just make the competition look like a fool! MOOHAHA!" Well guess what, person? YOU'RE the fool!
...
And that's why you shouldn't trust television.

What do I like best about myself?

I like that I am really determined when I set a goal for myself. Like this school year, I was determined to get better grades than I did freshman year. It's working! I NEARLY have straight A's, because of course, Geometry is frustrating me... I got a tutor, so hopefully that will work out so I can get straight A's for the first time ever! YAY! I also set a goal to keep my room clean. It has been immaculate for the past five days! That's a new record for me! So yay for being determined! :)

What is my theory on the Mayans' "end of the world" thing?

Why did the Mayans think that the world will end 2012? They were too stupid and uncivilized to live past then, that's why. Why do we care what they think? Hasn't anyone even noticed that there are NONE of them left? Mayans are ridiculous. They probably just ran out of paper and stopped their calendar at Dececmber 12, 2012. Mayans are dumb.