If I could have dinner with someone, who would it be and where would you go?

I would go to dinner with Jesus and Gandhi and Oprah and Nelson Mandela, Ellen, and we would all go to a classy cafe in France for a light brunch, where we will discuss life and our metaphysical perspectives on humanity and the human spirit.

What makes a good selfie?

Confidence, girl.
No matter how many filters you use, you can't mask a picture that lacks fierceness.

See?

Confidence is key. Unleash your inner Beyonce.

HASTAG NO FILTER. HASHTAG FABULOUS.

Lastly, don't be one of those people to who try to take artsy pictures of a body part. I scroll over those.

"Eye have no life."

That's it for my tips. Please take selfies responsibly. That is all.

If I could go to space, would I?

HECK NO. Have you seen Gravity??? Somewhere out there, George Clooney is still orbiting the Earth. Oh God. What if you were lost in space? No one would ever find you. You'd be floating around in oblivion for millions of years until you reach the edge of the ever-expanding universe, which means that there is no edge, so you would be floating in space until you reach a black hole where time is warped, so you'll be sucked in what seems like years but is actually minutes and then spewed out into a different dimension where aliens are a thing, or even worse, other versions of yourself, and they'll abduct you and probe you and turn you into a mindless zombie mutant slave where you'll serve the lizard king against your own will, and you'll be like, ah, no don't take me I just want to be free, I just wanted to be an individual and stand out from the crowd and say that I went to space so I'll be loved and accepted by my peers, when in fact no, you don't have to be one of the cool cats to be accepted in life, because the secret to happiness lies within yourself, but it's too late for that now, because the lizard king has you, and he's messing with your mind and telling you these things that he thinks you want to hear when in fact he's getting you to steal children and candy and do bad stuff because he wants to take over the universe and you can't do anything about it because your life is sad and you did a blog about outer space and figured out that you never will find out what happened to George Clooney and his boyish charm. Oh the horror. Oh the mutiny.

How forgiving am I when a friend lets me down?

Well.
I'd consider myself a rational person–who allows herself to let out steam through irrational action–so, you know, that requires me to be pretty forgiving. I forgive people no matter what they do, but the course of my forgiving transformation depends on the gravity of the friend's offense.

What would my American Gladiator name be?

My name would be Loser, because I would die within a five-mile ratio of that area in which American Gladiator would be held. During sophomore year, I did three-and-a-half push ups for the Fitness Gram. That's sad.

What do I think of Donald Sterling?

That guy is ridiculous. I mean, even though just by looking at him–an old, rich white guy–you can tell he's going to be racist, but the fact that he owns a basketball team (seriously, name one good white player) and that he has that kind of attitude is unbelievable. Then again, I think that his girlfriend was setting him up in the first place by recording him and getting him to say those things, but no one cares about that. Everyone should just criminalize the racist. That just proves what a sensitive topic racism is. Nobody wants to be called a racist, but they are confused when no one else agrees with their racist ideas.

What is my favorite app and why?

I like Instagram, but I can live without it. I can live without any apps. Just give me texting and calling, and I'll be okay.

Chorus to my original song commemorating my original life

I like pandas yes I do

I like almond milk and sushi too

I like reading books and poo

I guess my friends are alright too

*dubstep dance break*

I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BAAAAAAAAALLLLLL

 

Sue me for copyright infringement, I don't care. I do it better than Miley.

Which emoji am I?

STORY OF MY LIFE.

This defines me because I am the sass master, and I always feel the need to gesture as if I am holding an imaginary tray of quinoa.

Quinoa is so good.

If I could take one word out of the English language, what would it be?

I would take out the word "ugly".
In this wonderful, wonderful world, there is beauty in everything, and nothing and no one should ever be called ugly.
Except Crocs. Those are the ugliest things I've ever had the displeasure of beholding.

Who is the most influential person ever?

I think that no matter what you believe, you have to agree with me on this one. Jesus is undoubtedly one of the most–if not the most–influential people who has ever lived. Regardless of whether or not he was actually a godly entity, he was still a real, living person who spawned the most powerful empire that exists today, and he continues to shape millions of people's lives, influencing the masses to live within moral boundaries. He changed and still changes life during his own lifetime and after death, and everyone is glaringly aware of it. That's the difference between Jesus and, say, the person who invented language or fire or something–their influence goes unnoticed and uncredited. In contrast, Christianity is pushy about the whole Jesus situation. I'd like to see someone argue my point, because I think that I win.

What kind of scented candle would I be?

A SUPER DELICIOUS ONE, BECAUSE I SUPER LOVE SCENTED CANDLES. I would be roasted marshmallows or something. It'll smell magically delicious, and I will die of lead poisoning from eating my candle. Oh wait, I'd be eating myself. I'd die of lead poisoning and be a cannibal.

FREE WRITE: Random thoughts

Graduation is quickly approaching, and it's giving me anxiety, and anxiety-inducing events usually do. As much as I want to leave this gosh-forsaken building, I am going to miss everyone here, as well as my weekly routines.

Describe the perfect pizza

Spinach alfredo with mushrooms, olives and onions. It would be one of  those little pizza pies with a soft, thick crust and a gooey center. MMMM.

What language would I want to speak and why?

I think it'd be cool to speak something kind of obscure, like Japanese or Arabic. They just sound so cool, and their alphabetical characters just look so... foreign. As they should, I suppose.

If I could be a guest on any talk show, what would it be?

Is this even a question? I have dreamed of being on Ellen ever since her amazing talk show graced my life with insurmountable joy. I LOVE ELLEN. We can talk about how great we both are, and it'll be super awesome.
Also, I would mind being on The Talking Dead, the talk show that comes on after TWD, where they discuss TWD-related things. OK, a lot of the times, the guests and the host don't do an adequate job of analyzing episodes, and I am super awesome at picking out all of these cinematic elements and breaking them down for a deeper meaning. THEY NEVER ANSWER THE QUESTIONS THAT I HAVE.
I just need to be on TV.

What color describes my mood?

Pink all day every day. It's just such a pretty and feminine color, and I love being in a happy, blissful mood. It's just a channel for good karma, you dig. Pink is also a romantic color, but eh, I guess that counts for me, too.

Should upperclassmen have off campus lunch?

YAAAAASSSS.
I don't get why we don't have that now, especially for people who have early release.
I would have no money if we had off campus lunch.
Plano has off campus lunch. Plano is so much cooler.
Hi, I'm sick.

FREE WRITE: Save the prama for your mama

Can I be a basic white girl, because I literally just can't right now.
I'm trying not to make it a big deal, because my "problems" are minuscule in comparison to the starving children in Africa's, but it's starting to really bother me.
I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Prom destroys relationships and ruins lives.
In similar news, I finally got my dress hemmed, but the thing is, it wouldn't zip up, to which my mom turned to me and said, "You're getting fat."
Thanks, mom.
And then she told me to lose weight so that she didn't have to pay for the zipper to be replaced.
Also, I am broke. Because of prom, I have less than $150 in my account, which is dropping incrementally every month because of my stupid bank account thing.
So I am broke and fat. At least I'm not ugly.
Oh, wait.

What's one mystery you would like to be solved?

I want to know what happens after you die. I'm not going to go into it right now, because I don't feel like being all existential, but you know what's a really cool thought? What if every one becomes a star when they die? Like, a new star appears in the sky whenever someone's soul goes up into the heavens. What a pretty thought.

Should animals be exploited in the commercial world?

Heck yeah!
Said no one ever. Who would even be openly OK with that?
No, I am not, nor will I ever be, alright with exploiting animals for commercial uses.
Don't we exploit enough things for commercial uses? The environment, people's self-esteem, etc. I think that exploiting anything in general sounds wrong. And probably is wrong.

FREE WRITE: PROMMMMMMMMMM

Hi. OK. Prom is the most stressful thing ever, and I cannot think of one good reason for the tickets to be SEVENTY-FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS. Do they want me to sell my soul to Satan for such an exorbitant amount of money? More like Derrick will have to sell his soul, because he wants to pay for everything. I was like, look, I know you want to be a manly man and all, and paying for prom is a manly man thing, but you are not paying a million dollars for the both of us. For two proms. Don't be a hero.
To elucidate the amount of money we will need to spend, I created an elaborate, color-coded chart showing the costs (it's also a foldable, so some sections need to be creased a certain way), and what I would be OK with spending, so that would put us at about $400-ish each. To which I chortle. I chortle at it so hard. UGH.
To solve my fiscal dilemmas, I plan to sell more of my s'mores brownies next week. And probably for the next ten thousand years.
So, there you go, Derrick, if you have like $1000 to spare, that's cool with me.

What's up with that missing plane?

Aliens. It's always aliens. I won't be surprised if a giant black hole opened up in the sky, sucked up the plane and took it to another dimension. There is no other possible explanation.

Is anyone actually trustworthy?

Based on what I've experienced from other people and myself, I don't think so.

I was going to say my mom would be a viable candidate, but that bleep read my diary in middle school and had a condescending air to her for the next two years. In my mom's case, I would trust her with my life, but I would never trust her stuff that would give her the opportunity to pry. 

When it comes to people within my inner circle, I would love to say that I trust them, but I can't guarantee that they are 100% honest with me all the time, or that they don't say anything about me behind my back, even in passing or even if it doesn't mean anything. Hmm. But that's OK, people are usually trustworthy when it counts.

Do I think I can be the U.S. president?

HAHAHAHAHAHA no.
I would come in, intending to be a dictator who will have my statues placed everywhere and save the rainforest, and then realize that you can't really do that, and then succumb to the labyrinthian political system that I never want to get into ever. I would be the worst politician ever, because my morals would conflict with the entire system.

I missed two free writes?

Ugh.

OK I shall talk about the headband I'm wearing today. Last week, Ms. B measured all of our heads so that she could make us all headbands, which is the nicest thing ever, and it made me really happy that she would knit us these cute little headbands! Only the girls, of course. Mine is black and sparkles. I love it, and I've been wearing it a lot. My mom said I look like a psychic, but what does my mom know about what pseudo-scientific profession I aim to look like. Psh. What a nub.

Life without Twitter

...Will be the same for me as life with Twitter. I don't use it, so if it was gone, I would not notice at all. Now, if there was no Instagram, something I actually use, um, my life would probably be a lot more productive.

I think I missed a free write.

This weekend was pretty alright. I'm the Mardi Gras float princess for my church next week! That's exciting! Hmmm what else... Oh! Derrick and I are going on our 2-month anniversary next weekend at the Dallas Arboretum. Being cute, what else, psh. I'm really excited heehee. We're honestly perfect and adorable, and I'm really happy I was patient and hopeful enough for the perfect guy to come along, instead of settling for someone who isn't worth it. So thanks, life and fate, for letting me meet the male version of me :) Yay for things working out.

How have I changed since one year ago?

I would say that since last year, I am less awkward, less single and less of a non-adult, which, I mean, is something to be proud of, right? I have a lot more work and responsibilities, but I'm also a lot more relaxed and calm about stuff, but I still suck at being responsible... i.e. I haven't been to work in like 4 weeks, and I'm probably fired. Good gosh I have a lot of stuff besides that, too.

How do I handle rejection?

Badly and without emotion. I have a fear of failure and rejection, so I usually try not to take risks or put myself out there unless I have a high probability of success. This is bad, because I don't really give myself the chance to suck and get better at something, leaving a huge dearth of improvement within my character and life experience.
I need psychological help.

Where do I see myself in 20 years?

On the street, living under a bridge, drowning in my own tears. Literally, I'm going to fail life. Ugh.

If you could go anywhere today, where would it be and why?

I would go to the farthest corner of the rainforest, hide from society, and adapt to a possessionless lifestyle for the next 20 years. I will emerge as the new Thoreau, and people will provide me with the praise and earthly comforts that I deserve. PLEASE LET ME QUIT SCHOOL. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

What's my favorite day of the week?

I AM SO EXCITED FOR FRIDAY. OH MY GOD.
This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever, and I know that for a fact, because IT HAS TO BE. (To answer the blog question, I really like lazy Saturday mornings, specifically, because Saturday nights consist of me regretting not doing anything productive that morning)
I am so flipping excited for this Friday. I didn't want to spend any money on my boyfriend, not because I hate him, but because I'm broke, counting in prom expenses.
SO I made him this super cute collage of all of our non-awkward pictures and framed it in a pink frame (I didn't have anything manlier. Whoops.), and I cut out a bunch of cheesy/quasi-insulting pickup lines, which is OK, because we have the same kind of humor that appreciates cheesy/quasi-insulting jokes. Here's my favorite one: You smell like garbage. Can I take you out? I literally laughed at that for ten minutes. A true comedian. Besides those, I turned our story into this fairy tale story thing where I'm a princess, he's the knight, and it's based on how we actually met. He also gets a CD with our songs on it and the same truffles that I got him on our first date.
This is like, stomach-churningly saccharine, I know, but bear with me.
I know what you're thinking, what do I get out of all of this? I know for sure that he's making restaurant reservations for Friday, and then some other big surprise that NO ONE WILL TELL ME.
That's going to be my Friday. I'm pretty stoked. Yayyyyy.

Best superbowl ad

My favorite ad for the Superbowl was the one for Oikos yogurt, because it had all of the Full House guys in it. But especially John Stamos. Uncle Jesse is the bomb.

What dictates the meaning of "success"?

Success is determined by a dependent balance between gratification and self-awareness one receives from gaining feedback of his or her endeavor. In my opinion, being successful is not a measure of how close one gets to achieving a goal, but the amount of life experience a person gets from that experience.

If I could be famous for anything, what would it be?

I want to be famous for saving the rainforest, duh. HOW SWAG AND AWESOME WOULD THE BE, THOUGH. "Bianca saves rainforest and hugs all baby animals" would be the headline in ten years in every leading news story. Why, you ask? I just will, and it will be news, and I will be famous for such an endeavor.

What is my Starbucks order?

It depends if I'm working or not. If I am, then I'll order the mocha frappuccino with a shot of espresso, which is apparently called the mocha javaccino or something (as the nice Starbucks man pointed out--either way, I got my caffeine). I really do not enjoy working, which is why coffee makes everything better and acceptable. If I'm not working and for some reason just really want to pay for an overpriced beverage at Starbucks (and wait 15 minutes in line with 500 eighth graders), then I'll get the green tea frappuccino. I just do. You know what's really gross? Pumpkin spice anything. Like why. It's repulsive.

Why do people find so many things awkward?

It's only awkward if you make it awkward! I would know, because my entire existence is awkward. You know what sucks? LAUGHING AT THE WRONG TIMES. I have this defense mechanism when I'm nervous or uncomfortable or sad or angry... I LAUGH. Even when I'm crying. How weird is that? Do you want to know awkward? THAT'S AWKWARD. Oh mah gawwwwwwddddddd. SO BAD. I LAUGH AT ALL THE WRONG TIMES. GOD. Let's not talk about it anymore.

What do I value most in life?

I value my sanity, because without it, I would be nothing. I like staying on top of everything, because if I'm not, the universe starts spinning out of control, and life as I know it will not exist. My sanity is pretty important.

Write a haiku about my favorite food

Sushi is the best
Deliciousness in my mouth
Refrigerator

If I could change my name, what would it be?

Honestly, I wouldn't, but because you asked, I'd probably be like a Claire or Skye or something. I think names with e's and c's are super pretty. Like I would name my kid something like that. Well, I don't know what else to say, but nothing beats Bianca. It's the best name ever.

One goal that I have for 2014

Wow. 2014 is going to be a huge year for me. Graduation, college, California, summer... A lot is going to go down between now and December. It's only been seven days into January, and so much has already changed. 

My big and only resolution for 2014 is this: have an adventure. That entails trying new and exciting things and stepping out of my comfort zone for the sake of gaining exposure and life experience. Honestly, I'm 18 now, and being a straight-edge, play-by-the-rule kind of person, my life has been constant and comfortable for long enough. I mean, isn't the expectation for me, as a teenager, to mess up? A lot? It's been great and perfect and all, but I think it's time for a change. 

2014 is going to be the year of new directions.