So I'm starting early on my blog today, because one, I grasp the concept of Free Write Fridays, and two, I'm going to be pretty busy with my stuff tomorrow.
Alas, here I am, on my fluffy pink bed, waiting for inspiration to hit me.
Ouch. I think that was inspiration.
So for the past couple of weeks, I have been really struggling to get my act together (as it sometimes happens to happen), and I think it's because I am experiencing a dearth of... self satisfaction, I guess.
I just have this feeling that I am so inadequate all the time like I'm never going to amount to anything and I will always be average. I know how depressing this sounds (my reality is pretty depressing), but I feel like I fail to achieve anything I try. As a result, I am afraid to try new things or give something my all for fear of rejection and failure. What a sucky attitude I have, huh? You'd think that this would make me reach higher and try harder for my goals, but...
Wait. That actually sounds like a good plan. Why am I not doing that?
If I think about this logically...
1.) It boosts morale and self-confidence to have a positive attitude.
2.) It will strengthen my character in the long run.
3.) I might actually succeed if I keep trying.
4.) The worst that can happen is that I fail. Haven't I already been there before? Better to fail with a good attitude.
I think I just gave myself a way out of this slump (this needs to stop happening for real). I think the butt-shaped dent on my bed just deepened. Maybe I'm gaining weight.
Anyone reading would have just witnessed a lonely conversation I just had with myself. To me, it's just another day in my brain. Complicated. Unedited. Random as $#!*% (pancakes).
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